the ladies. Got it?” He reached over and switched the vibrating seat
off.
“Good lord, I think I’m about to retch,” groaned Harvey. He
returned the seat upright, clutching his belly.
“And stop messing with the radio, man. I hate this station.”
“What do you mean? It’s the only station around. What in God’s
name did you buy such an extravagant audio system for if you don’t
use it?”
“Don’t use it? Whaddya mean
don’t use it
?” said Milo, surprised.
“Check
this
out, man.”
Milo fiddled with some of the stereo’s numerous controls and
slipped in a CD. All of a sudden, colored lights blinked from the
ceiling of the ‘76 Chevy Monza, and a small, round disco ball
descended from the center of the roof, sending a multitude of colored
rays scintillating throughout the fully-customized interior.
Aha,
noted Harvey,
Zebra-skin floor mats.
Barry White’s voice came
rumbling up from the huge sub-woofers under each seat and each
Aaaaawwwww Baaaayy-beh
came with such insistence that
Harvey’s intestines gurgled and his buttocks slapped together.
Grinning, Milo reached over and unlocked the glove compartment,
which revealed an assortment of miniature bottles of liquor and two
highball glasses with “Tonight’s the Night” printed on them. Harvey
nodded, not unappreciatively.
“I got the extra-special deluxe option package,” said Milo.
“So I see,” replied Harvey. “Mind if I make myself a cocktail, my
good man?”
“Yeah, go ahead. But leave the raspberry schnapps and the
Bailey’s Irish Creme alone. I need those for the young ones.”
“Charming,” said Harvey. “I don’t suppose you want one, seeing
that you’re driving?”
“No way man. I never drink when I’m driving on drugs.”
At any other time in his life, Harvey might have been disturbed
by these circumstances, but given his present state of mind, he now
he found them rather amusing. Barreling down some unknown
highway, driven by an oversexed and intoxicated teenager, in search
of
more
drugs, on a short detour on their way to the nearest police
station where he could report his car stolen, Harvey felt surprisingly
calm. He had heard stories about people under extreme duress who
had achieved a crystalline perspicuity, able to use that clear vision
and strength to come through in the clinch. Women lifting cars to
H O L Y S H I T !
58
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