Yeshua had underestimated how dreadful the idea of merely
ceasing to exist was for most humans. It didn’t matter much at that
moment, though, because no one guessed that this wasn’t part of the
show. If anything, they were only getting a little restless.
“Hey! Put Deaf Lemon back on!” one man yelled.
“Yeah!” the crowd collectively shouted. Someone started to
chant, “Deaf Lemon! Deaf Lemon! Deaf Lemon!” and soon the entire
throng joined him. Yeshua’s voice was becoming drowned out. When
he still did not capitulate, boos started to accompany the chant.
“Listen, here. This is not part of your stupid show. Don’t make
me bring thunder and lightning and scorpions to get your attention!
I’m not joking, people.”
The crowd responded by hurling foodstuffs at the prophets. A
ketchup-soaked hamburger bun caught Yeshua squarely on the nose.
“Look, I’m warning you—” he said huffily. The other five came up
and pulled him over for a quick group discussion on how to handle
this unexpected turn of events.
“Let’s hit them with a dose of leeches!” said Krishna, excitedly.
“No, no. We won’t get anywhere by irritating them. We’re not
here to get on their bad side just yet,” Gautama coolly cautioned.
“Perhaps we should retreat and rethink our strategy. It appears that
man is not as easily convinced as he once was.”
“That appears to be the case. Good time to regroup, wouldn’t you
say?” Moses interjected.
“Yes, but we must take some humans with us to help formulate a
new approach,” said Mohammed. He looked around for a moment
and noticed Bob, Gareth and Muchoman lying unconscious on the
stage behind them. Deaf Lemon Hopkins was striding over to them.
“These four gentlemen on the stage with us should do nicely,”
Mohammed said.
“Agreed,” said Yeshua, a box of nachos narrowly missing his
head.
“Why don’t you hobos get the fuck off my stage?” hollered Deaf
Lemon, having finally lost his cool. “Just what the hell is the big idea,
anyway?”
“Funny you should say that. We need a really,
really
big idea,”
said Zarathustra amiably, “And you’re going to help us.”
Deaf Lemon struck Zarathustra over the head with his guitar.
“Okay, that’s
it
,” said Yeshua into the microphone, flabbergasted,
“Show’s
over
.”
H O L Y S H I T !
56
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