felt that with a little reworking of his image, Lemon could be
transformed from lowly blues balladeer to messianic troubadour of
the new millennium. Sure, such chicanery couldn’t last for long, but
this wasn’t going to be a long-term investment. Nothing good lasts
forever, she knew, especially these degenerated days. If faith was
unfashionable, then faithfulness was folly.
After spraying her hair up fuller than a Christmas tree, she
entered the room wearing only a T-shirt which reached to just below
her navel, revealing the unwrapped gift below. Lately, she had been
working out of Lemon’s apartment and felt that tantalizing him at
every possible moment was the best way to reinforce his blind
loyalty. Sure, it was hard getting work done while with him fondling
her all the time, but if her mother taught her anything, it was this:
Your body is a tool. Use it as much as you can before the warranty
expires.
Lemon reached for her, wrapping his large hands around her
perfect buttocks.
“Come here, you,” he growled.
“I’m not going anywhere, lover. Especially not with the news I
just received.”
“Hmm?” he said, pressing his lips to her bare stomach.
“Well, apparently Florence Henderson has been kidnapped by
the Millennial Liberation Front,” she said.
“That new age terrorist organization? They kidnapped Mrs.
Brady? Those maniacs.”
“Well, there’s a silver lining. She was scheduled to be Grand
Marshal of the Pasadena New Year’s Day Parade, which is in a few
days. I’ve got a connection on the executive committee, and, well—
you, my big darling, are her replacement!”
“Geez. Grand Marshal. That sounds pretty good, honey. I just
wonder if we’re not overdoing it. All this just don’t seem right to me.”
“Baby, you don’t know how right it is,” Melinda said softly. “It’s
been too long that these elitists have hogged all the glory. Someone
like you gives everybody hope. You’re letting them know that their
limitations shouldn’t keep them from their dreams. Being a double-
amputee shouldn’t keep you from becoming a high-jump champion.
Having no eyes shouldn’t keep you from being a race-car driver.
Stupidity shouldn’t keep you out of medical school. Lemon, you’re
showing the people that they can have anything they want. Anything
on earth.”
H O L Y S H I T !
38
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