about a whole restaurant instead?”
And so there was a restaurant in the middle of the desert. But
there was no food in it. “Very funny,” the guy said. “Okay, put every
kind of food in it.” And so there was every kind of food, mixed
together. The guy tried a few things but they were all terrible.
“Yuck,” the guy said, “Screw this. Give me a car and I’ll drive
out of here.” So a car appeared. He got in and drove and drove and
drove, but there was nothing in the world to see or drive to because
there was nothing in the world.
“I’m lonely,” the guy said, “Can you give me some friends to
hang out with?” And so a bunch of people appeared in the car, and
they were lost in the world too. They drove around for a while, but
then they realized they should have somewhere to drive to. “Give us
a place to drive to,” said the guy, and a big city appeared in front of
them.
The guy drove into the city and found out that it was the same
place he came from. He went back to the doctor’s office. “I did what
you said, but now I’m back where I started from! The world is still
the same and I’m still the same!” he complained.
The doctor shrugged and said, “You stuck your finger in the
light socket! You’re lucky to be alive!”
And then the guy realized the doctor was right. He was lucky to
be alive. Maybe the world was also lucky to be alive and it was lonely
too. The world asked God for the guy to be made so it wouldn’t be
lonely, just like he was lonely and asked for friends and a car and a
city. And the world wasn’t so happy how he turned out, but the guy
wasn’t so happy with the world either. Now they were stuck
together so they would have to try to get along. And then, all of a
sudden he didn’t feel alone in the world anymore. Slowly, things got
better for him, and for all of them. And instead of trying to go back
to the beginning, they bet everything they had on the future.
T
H
E
E
N
D
Bob took a swig of beer. Except for all the noise, the bar was very
silent for a moment.
“And that’s my story,” Bob said. “What do you guys think?” He
put his hands together in anticipation of an answer, but his friends
said nothing.
“Hey guys. Like, that was it. What do you think?”
The other two looked at each other briefly, disturbed.
“That was the greatest story I ever heard,” said Leonard, shakily.
H O L Y S H I T !
30
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