O l i v e r B e n j a m i n
the chicks are uglier. It’s almost as loud, though.”
“Those aren’t chicks, man. Those are dudes with dresses on,”
said Leonard.
“Whoa,” said Bob.
The three of them had just obtained phony identification cards,
though they weren’t originally intended to be used to get into bars.
The minimum age of entry for the parade talent competition was
eighteen years old, so Bob suggested that they “get two birds stoned,”
and opt for fake birth certificates that indicated they were twenty
one.
“So Bobbo, you got a story for us, or what?” boomed Wade.
“A story? Yeah, I got a
great
story,” said Bob and motioned them
to come closer so that he wouldn’t have to scream so loud. He was
afraid that someone might steal his idea. He took the folded-up
donut box out of his backpack and began reading aloud.
B
O
B
’ SO
S
T
R
Y
Once there was a guy who felt all alone in the world. The world
didn’t seem to want him. He tried to change to make the world like
him but he couldn’t change himself, because the world made him
the way he was. So what he decided to do was to go back to the
beginning of the world. If he could change how the world turned out
then he would change how he turned out too. Only he wasn’t sure
how to do that. So he went to the store to see if there were any
machines for sale that would do that. They told him he was crazy
and he should go to a doctor.
So he went to a doctor. He asked the doctor if he could help
him go back to the beginning of the world and fix it and fix himself.
The doctor said that he was crazy and needed help. “Exactly!” the
guy said.
The doctor said if he wanted, he could fix they guy’s mind with
shock therapy. It was really expensive and the guy didn’t have much
money, so he decided to do it himself. He went home and stuck his
finger in the light socket and got electrocuted.
When he woke up he was back at the beginning of the world.
Nothing had been created yet. He was naked in the middle of a
desert. He didn’t have anything to eat or drink. So he asked for a
tree with food on it.
A tree appeared in the desert with fruit. He took a fruit from a
branch and ate it and it was a lemon. “Sour,” the guy said, “How
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