waiting for the applause to die out. Finally, he continued, “I am here
to welcome you to the unveiling of The Sun Temple of Akhnaton. And
let me tell you. It’s quite a doozy. But before I do that, I’m going to
share with you something that will change the way you see the world.
After you hear what I have to say, it will be as if you stared too long
into the sun and then closed your eyes—you’ll see the nighttime sky
inside your own heads; you’ll see the entire universe lit up like it was
on fire. You’ll see for miles and miles and miles. You get the picture?
“Ladies and Gentlemen of Egypt,” he continued, “A long time
ago, before Egypt even was even around, we existed, but we didn’t
look like we do now. We make mummies out of people who can
afford it, because we believe in an afterlife, but let me tell you, we’ve
got a pretty serious beforelife too.
“Before we were humans, see, we were monkeys. And before that,
we were sloths. And before that we were turtles. And before that,
ladies and gentlemen, we were fish. When the human being is in its
mother’s belly, and it’s all little and slimy, it starts off as a fish, then
becomes a turtle, and a sloth, and a monkey, and then it’s a baby.
“Actually, we started off as something even smaller than a fish,
but that’s not so important, because when we became fish, something
really huge happened. That was when we developed our soul, the
birth of awareness and learning. Our minds became everything we
were, and these minds could be molded like clay. When that
happened, once we had taken that nibble from the plankton of
knowledge, we looked up and set our sights on the light above, swam
out onto the shore, and never looked back. And the wettest of all
gardens was lost forever.
“It was then, as fish, that we were at the crossroads of mind and
matter. We had one fin in the eternal and one in the mundane. And
it was then that we became aware of our great mission on this earth.
It’s a mission that’s taken us pretty far, let me tell you. But unless we
get back in touch with our fishy origin, we’re in danger of screwing it
all up.
“See, all this itching for things to always keep getting better, and
making better and better things is just a side-effect of that mission
that we accepted so long ago. Without that itch, we wouldn’t work so
hard, and we wouldn’t hardly move.
“The weird thing is, all this moving forward that we’re doing is
really a kind of moving backwards, trying to find God again, the one
we lost back there in that ocean billions of years ago. But we can’t be
H O L Y S H I T !
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