O l i v e r B e n j a m i n
heavily-armed terrorists blundered into the room, pointing their
machine-guns in every conceivable direction. The audience members
dove for cover. Zarathustra dropped his microphone, sending peals
of feedback slicing through the din, and ran back to the area where
the other prophets were sitting.
“Aggh! What do we do?” he complained.
“Relax. Let the moron talk,” Yeshua counseled.
And talk he did. The newly-respected member of the world’s
largest New-Age terrorist organization picked up the microphone
and began to wield it like a dagger. “I see that I’ve got your attention,”
Vlad addressed the audience, “Good. Now don’t worry, because I’m
on your side. Please, comrades, shoulder your firearms.”
The Millennial Liberation Front did as instructed.
“Thank you. I would like to take this opportunity to introduce to
the world, for the first time on national TV, The Millennial Liberation
Front. With us tonight is our special guest and hostage, you might
know her from “The Brady Bunch,” Ms. Florence Henderson! For
Ms. Henderson’s sake, I hope you all behave yourselves.”
Florence Henderson waved to the television cameras. There was
not much else she could do.
“Thank you, Ms. Henderson, for your cooperation. Now, I would
like to burst some bubbles. These people,” he said, pointing at the
prophets, “are not who you think they are. They did not come from
far away. And they are certainly not gods. No, they’re from Earth, just
like you or me. They are human beings.”
A slight murmur could be heard from the audience. They just
thought it was part of the show.
“But here’s the really weird part.” Vlad went on, “They’re from a
place in time that we haven’t been to yet. They are renegades from
the future. Yes, my friends, it’s not so difficult to be a prophet when
you’ve already lived the prophecy!”
“We must stop that little bastard,” Krishna said.
“No,” Moses held him back, “Let him embarrass himself. No one
could believe a man that foolish.”
“But why, you ask?” Vlad yelled, “Why would they do this? I’ll tell
you. Because by coming here and tricking man into developing well,
they will enjoy the fruits of our labor: improved conditions in the
future. But they are not the only ones! Emissaries from the future
have been coming here for thousands of years, trying to shape us into
the makers of a perfect world. They are trying to create a heaven on
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