“Ah! People in need of help!” he cheered, hopping towards them,
“Help!” he cried, “Help!”
The clan stood their ground and drew their arrows. Muchoman
hopped closer, waving his hands frantically. Then, seeing the
crusader’s face, they dropped their weapons and prostrated
themselves on the rich earth. Muchoman, not wanting to offend, did
the same, and the damp soil quickly extinguished his flaming leg.
“Greetings!” Muchoman said, after rising back to his feet, “I am
here to help you in any way possible!”
The leader of the clan stood up, grinning hugely. He walked up
cautiously to Muchoman and addressed him. “Is it really you? We
have honored your brave deeds for a long time.”
“Well, shucks—” Muchoman began.
“Everyone!” the leader cried, addressing his clan. “Nanahuatzin
has come back to us, from the very fire of creation!”
The clan cheered wildly.
“Well, actually I—” Muchoman interjected.
“Oh great Nanahuatzin! We must have a great celebration. You
must come back with us to the city!” The leader took Muchoman’s
arm.
“A celebration for me? Aw, gee, I’m flattered.” He gazed
heavenwards hoping the folks at home were getting all this.
Together, they led him back to their impressive city, the Aztec
fortification of Tenochtitlan, in what would one day become Mexico
City.
“So I guess you guys know who I am,” Muchoman said proudly.
“Oh yes, my lord,” the chieftain gushed, “We have worshipped
you always.”
“Always?” Muchoman wondered.
The dark and wiry warrior repeated the story as it was commonly
taught, eager to prove his piety. “Many hundreds of years ago the
world previous to this one had been destroyed by an angry god,
Quetzalcoatl. He brought down a rain of fire, which killed nearly
everyone. But some people survived by disguising themselves as
turkeys.”
“Turkeys?” said Muchoman.
“Yes, of course. So, with the world in flames the gods got together
to decide who would jump into the fire to create the new realm. Of
course, none of them wanted to do so, until a brave and humble god
cast himself into the flames and gave birth to our new and wonderful
H O L Y S H I T !
206
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