Part Five:
ARMAGEDDON
CHAPTER 34
Doug sat bored upon his enormous Luxorecliner Vibrating Emperor
Throne and fiddled with the climate setting on his remote control.
Finding the “tropical rainforest” option a little too damp, he finally
settled on “semi-arid desert” and punched in an air temperature of
seventy-two. Meanwhile, the artificial sun atop the high-domed
ceiling in his Bel Air mansion provided just the right amount and
quality of light one might expect at two in the afternoon, but for the
fact that it was seven-thirty in the evening, allowing Doug to enjoy a
bright summer day inside the safe confines of his gigantic living
room, where it was always summer and always daytime. The
PseudoPod™ Corporation had made a convincing argument for him
to purchase the artificial ecosphere system for his estate, and though
it had provided him with a great deal of temporary contentment, like
every one of his extravagant purchases, the novelty wore off quickly
and he was left with a yearning for something more meaningful. Yet
what could be more meaningful than control of the weather? He
frowned and turned on his TremendoVision Stadium Size Screen TV
to see what was playing.
Eighteen-foot high re-runs of The Brady Bunch.
He changed channels. So many episodes of this strange family on
television lately. He couldn’t figure out why it was so popular all of a
sudden. It didn’t matter though, because he was only biding time
until the main event of the evening began. At eight o’clock a brand
new program was going to make its debut, one which everyone was
talking about. People had told him that it was the most important
television program in the entire history of the earth, which Doug
noted was indeed a long time.
H O L Y S H I T !
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