O l i v e r B e n j a m i n
would find them: they had returned to the anteroom of eternity.
With them now was their faithful assistant, Muchoman, who,
aside from helping them to operate their videocassette recorders, had
proved to be a skilled manager and tutor. Despite his obvious
leanings toward insanity, the prophets found him surprisingly
gracious and informed on many subjects. He was also a superb cook.
“Well now, this is mutton!” said Moses, delighted.
“Glad to be of service!” thundered Muchoman. “Would you like
some mint jelly?”
“No, no. I’m stuffed,” the Jewish patriarch said, “You’re my hero,
Muchoman.”
Muchoman placed a pan in the sink, then wiped his hands on his
apron and sat down at the table. “Thank you. But I wish there were
more heroes like me,” He said with feigned modesty, “They seem to
have gone out of style. And I can’t do it all myself.”
Moses frowned. “But we’ve seen tons of them on TV and in the
movies.”
“Sure, but those kind never last. They always let you down or
they go out of fashion. Sports heroes get busted for drugs or assault.
Political heroes always end up selling out. And our celebrities are just
in it for the money. There’s no real heroes anymore—Hercules, the
Lone Ranger and guys like that, you know? Real heroes.”
“Hercules and the Lone Ranger? As far as I know they weren’t
real.”
“Right. But they were real heroes. You know what I’m saying?”
“You surprise me with your wisdom, Muchoman,” Moses
remarked, “Why yes, of course. To be truly meaningful to man, a
thing has to be fictitious. Which is exactly why were transformed into
gods after we left. Myth is the language of the Dreamtime—of the
unconscious. One of the great tragedies of man is that he has an
enormous dam erected between his conscious and his subconscious.
As such, he is doomed to be divided.”
Muchoman shook his head ruefully. “Well, how do we knock the
dam down?” he said. “I liked hanging out in the Dreamtime.”
“I’m not sure it would be such a good idea just yet. You have a lot
of growing up to do as a race before you start meddling with universal
truth. That’s why we’ve come here—to see if you are capable of
growing.”
Muchoman stood up. Emulating a super-hero stance, he placed
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