name. “You are now known as Don Wong, a great warrior of Chinese
ancestry and Native American spirit,” he announced to the small
wedding party. “Soon disorganized armies will approach and you will
lead them to victory over evil. You will enter into a compact with the
savior of the human race. Also, you will invent a meat flavored
dessert. And a delicious low-fat asparagus burrito.”
Dreamwalker’s condition declined rapidly after that.
“I just don’t know how far to go with this,” Don Wong said,
confused.
“Don’t worry,” his eager new bride said, “We’ll play it by ear.”
A month later, Dreamwalker died. On his deathbed he placed
large fortune-taco into Don Wong’s hand. “This is too big to be a
fortune-taco,” Don Wong said, breaking it apart and reading. “This is
like a prophecy-taco.”
Shiva wept and hugged her beloved uncle as he got ready to go.
“Don’t leave,” she wailed.
“I won’t be far. We’ll meet in your dreams,” he promised, then
smiled, and died with his eyes wide open.
With money inherited from his meager will, they built Pangaea
on the site of Dreamwalker’s old house. But of course, hardly anyone
came. What few communities lived in driving distance didn’t look
kindly on their menu options.
It all appeared increasingly ridiculous to them. That is, until the
day the prophesized armies showed up, and once again all that
Dreamwalker predicted turned out to be true.
Vlad showed up that day with his militia of shirtsleeved
revolutionaries in tow. “We were wondering if we could use this place
for our weekly meetings,” he said, “The abandoned warehouse we’ve
been squatting at is crap. We’re a subsidiary branch of a new-age
terrorist organization. Oh, wait. Don’t tell anyone I told you that.”
“I think we can squeeze you in,” Don Wong said knowingly. So
this was the savior of mankind. As Don Wong suspected, life on earth
seemed merely a long unbroken series of bad jokes.
Shiva took Don Wong’s hand and led him gently into the back room
of Pangaea that served as their modest living quarters. Sitting him
down on their bed, she wiped his brow and helped him out of his
clothes, folding them neatly and placing them on a chair, then raised
her own dress high above her head and let it fall to the floor. He
followed her, docile, as she padded to the center of the room to light
H O L Y S H I T !
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