“Definitely
groovy
.”
“Really? How come?”
“I’ll tell you how come. These guys ain’t gods. But Sean Connery
wasn’t James Bond neither. Didn’t make Connery any less cool,
though. People needed to believe in Bond, so they watched the movie
and thought this goofball really was boning all these women and
shooting all these Russians, when actually he was wearing a fucking
hairpiece and probably put on a skirt when he got home from filming.
So what? People need these gods for the same reason they need
Bond: because it makes them feel just a little bit bigger and a little bit
cooler and a little bit righter.”
“Righter?”
“Yeah, you know. When Bond kills the commies, you go, ‘Yeah!
We on your side, James!’ and if the gods come back to set things
straight, everybody goes, ‘Yeah! We on your side, Jesus!’ Man, look
what happened with Hitler. He convinced the Germans he was a god
and they said, ‘Yeah! We on your side Adolph!’ Everybody in the
world came close to walking around with dumb little mustaches.
People don’t give a fuck about right and wrong. They just want to be
on the right side when the shit comes down. That’s why these guys
are groovy, even if they
are
full of shit.”
“Man,
you
are full of shit,” his friend laughed. The hairdresser
also laughed and cut off a big piece of waffle.
“Well, I guess I’m on the winning side, then,” he replied.
CHAPTER 27
The gods were indeed declared officially groovy. Young people all
over the world, or at least those parts of the world that received
western television, called in to vote their support for the six new
heroes and the response was overwhelmingly positive. Opinion polls
later showed that people found them charismatic and powerful, but
at the same time very sincere. How they came to the conclusion that
the prophets were sincere just from watching brief clips of them on
television was never explained, but one interview with a teenager
from Boston seemed to provide a clue: “Anybody has a face like that,”
she said, referring to Yeshua, “and isn’t using it to make money has
got to be a really
great
person.”
Amazingly, very little rancor was exhibited over the incredible
H O L Y S H I T !
160
 |
 |
 |
 |