O l i v e r B e n j a m i n
this stuff is what I managed to squeeze out of your accountant.”
“Elmore? That’s private!” said Gareth angrily, then demanded,
“What did he tell you?”
“Oh, just that you’ve liquidated all your personal assets.”
Gareth gulped. “It’s a bear market,” he said.
“Bull! The only reason you would do that is if you were running
from the law, or if you were anticipating something like total global
economic breakdown. I think you have an ace up your sleeve, Gareth
and I’m calling you on it.”
“So call it, then,” Gareth challenged.
“Okay. This is what I think you’re up to. You’re trying to convince
everyone that these guys are for real, so that you can plunge the
markets into chaos. Pork belly futures won’t be worth much if there’s
no future, right? Then, you’re going to buy up as much of the rubble
as you can, and by the time everybody finds out it’s a hoax, you’ll be
sitting pretty, on a Mount Olympus of cash. You’ll have stolen fire
from the Gods and burned the rest of humanity with it. A marvelous
plan, Gare. Too bad you wanted to play Cain to my Abel. We could
have both lived off the fat of the land, but you’ve betrayed my trust,
and now you’re going to have to wander naked in the forest.”
“You’ve really been boning up on your bible, haven’t you?” said
Gareth.
“Everybody has,” said Gareth. “You know that dream where
you’re naked at a final exam that you haven’t prepared for? Well
everyone’s starting to feel that way right about now, and they’re
trying to cram as best they can. Bibles are selling like crazy, and Jesus
is on the cover of GQ this month, as you well know. Quite a coup you
pulled, old boy. Just tell me one thing, though. How did you manage
the thing with all the natural catastrophes? That was incredible.”
Gareth didn’t know what to say. “The Lord works in mysterious
ways,” he finally replied. “So what do you want from me anyway? Are
you going to kill me, or what?”
“Not if you stay in that chair and do as I say. In a few minutes,
the cops will be here to arrest you for murder.”
“Murder? The homeless guy? The death we recorded?”
“Naturally. You administered the poison.”
“But you were there too…”
“Not according to the security cameras. I made sure to be out of
the limelight.”
“It was a mercy killing. He was dying of cancer.”
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