down the barrel of a gun that size.”
“Oh, this thing?” said Barth dismissively, “Pay no attention to the
man behind the curtain, as they say. See, you know it’s here, and I
know it’s here, but if we both pretend that it doesn’t exist, we’ll have
a much easier time. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?”
“What? What are you talking about?” said Gareth, starting to lose
his cultivated cool. “What
what
’s all about?”
“Don’t play dumb with me, old pal. It doesn’t suit you. I’m talking
about your plans with these terrorist friends of yours. Something big.
So big it makes me look small. And you know how much I like being
big, don’t you? From what I can gather, you’re going to help these
guys take over the world somehow, in exchange for a big piece of the
pie. American pie, perhaps, I don’t know. All I know is that you’re
trying to pull a fast one, and I for one, don’t buy it. However, I may
be persuaded to buy it if the price is right.
Comprendé?
I may agree
to buy it for the low, low price of—your life, and of course, your piece
of the pie. What kind of pie is it, anyway? You know how I love pie.”
“Apple,” replied Schlechtmann.
“Heck,” said Barth, “It’s just like you to be sarcastic at a time like
this.”
Gareth wasn’t being the slightest bit sarcastic, of course, but if he
told Barth that the Gods were offering him the tree of knowledge in
the Garden of Eden, the big oaf might have shot him then and there.
He opted to remain vague.
“What I can’t figure out,” Barth went on, “is why you left me out.
We’ve been partners for so long, and in return for my loyalty, you
want to leave me out of the biggest deal you’ve ever made. The only
thing I can guess is that you got greedy. Shame on you.”
“Where are you getting these ideas from, Johanness? What
makes you think I’m leaving you out of anything?” Schlechtmann
protested. “I’ve told you what’s going on—a bunch of lunatics are
trying to convince the world that they’re the new messiahs, and we’re
helping them. So what else is new? People have been doing that
throughout history: Genghis Khan, Hitler, Reverend Moon, L. Ron
Hubbard. The world has never been short of crazies, or smart people
like you and me to get in on the action. I’m not leaving you out of it—
I’ve just been busy as hell organizing everything with the PR and
production guys. Haven’t you been getting my e-mail?”
Barth smirked. “Oh yeah. Enlightening stuff. I especially liked
the piece on serial killers. The only thing I’ve heard lately regarding
H O L Y S H I T !
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