O l i v e r B e n j a m i n
vainly searching to find somewhere air-conditioned to hide. The
problem was that, due to freak blackouts, the only air-conditioning
regularly available was from the convenient but unprecedented
typhoon winds that were also tearing roofs off of houses.
Miraculously, none of this produced any casualties either. And
fortunately, when the floods finally came, everyone found it easy to
cool off by simply going for a refreshing swim around the block.
Everything worked out fine in the end, as the typhoons blew
away all the debris from the earthquakes, the floodwater was drained
by the nice cracks in the earth that the quakes provided. After a week
or so, the disasters seemed to wane. The television news reported
that it all could have been a lot worse: no casualties had been
reported, and hey, at least there weren’t snowstorms. Everyone
decided to take a long and well-deserved nap.
•
Bob stood at his window, sipping a cup of Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate,
watching the snow fall in heavy sheets. He had just woken up from a
long nap. “Winter sure has come early this year,” he guessed. He
guessed wrong, because not only was it March, but he was in Los
Angeles, where winter was unheard of. If an Indian Summer denoted
an unseasonably hot autumn, then this was a Spring Rubber
Chicken. Of course, Bob couldn’t be faulted, as he no longer had
access to a calendar. His salary allowed him to move into a nice
apartment with Wade and Leonard and a dog named Lucky whom he
had personally saved from the floods. “Here boy,” Bob had said to the
dog, causing it to paddle over to him and, thus, become saved. Bob
was proud of that.
Today it didn’t look like he was going to get any work done. The
roads were closed due to snow. This hadn’t happened in Los Angeles
in eons, so Bob decided to do some research. He walked over to the
television and turned it on.
Sitting down on the sofa, Lucky pounced up beside Bob and
buried his snout in Bob’s crotch. “Dammit Lucky. I love you too, but
I’m working here,” Bob scolded the mutt. Lucky licked Bob’s face,
then turned around three times, laid down and fell asleep. He
regarded his pet with a faint sense of pride, and then flipped through
the channels until he saw something that caught his attention.
“Hey! It’s my buddies!” he cried. There was a news program on,
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