O l i v e r B e n j a m i n
forward, guaranteeing that no more frontal contact was made than
absolutely necessary to classify the operation, officially, as a hug and
not just an accidental collision. Then, with both bodies separated by
no-less than a fifty-degree angle, the men proceeded to slap each
other firmly on the back, careful not to allow the slaps to linger longer
than necessary and accidentally be mistaken for something closer to
a caress. After what seemed like an eternity for both of them, but was
actually only two seconds, the two friends finally broke apart and
stepped away from each other, marveling at how lucky they were to
be so close.
“We did it!” shouted Harvey over the din of the music, which was
coming from the stereo in Milo’s car parked thirty yards away, in
which Milo was doing his best to seduce a young hitchhiker.
“What?” Milo shouted at her.
“Hah?” she screamed.
“What?” he yelled.
“I said, the stick shift is going up my skirt!” she shouted.
“That ain’t no stick shift baby,” Milo cooed in her ear, “I got
automatic
transmission.”
“That’s what I’m worried about,” she said, “You got any
rubbers?”
Inside the warehouse, Don Wong said, “I’m very proud of you,
Harvey. Looks like you do give a carp about the world after all.”
“Let’s say that I’m learning to like it a lot better. Apparently, it’s
an acquired taste.”
The Don laughed, “Then chow down pardner!”
“I’ve been meaning to ask you, Fu,” Harvey said, “What’s with the
cowboy accent? I mean, you’re Chinese.”
The Don answered, “A long time out in the desert can change a
man mighty fast.”
Victoria ambled over to them. Stripped of her gaudy makeup,
with her ASPCA uniform unzipped rather low in the front to reveal a
surprisingly buoyant set of breasts on which she balanced three
martinis, she looked a lot more attractive than either Don Wong or
Harvey could remember. Of course, they were among the few who
had drunk the Green Cheese Moonshine and hadn’t vomited
immediately afterwards.
“Drinks, fellas?” Victoria offered, warning, “You better hurry and
take them. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up, if you
know what I mean!”
135
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