full. Gradually, the issue of the commercials became the center of
public debate. Many groups demanded that the commercials be
banned, and a great deal of news time was devoted to investigating
the nature of the ads, and to discuss whether or not they should be
allowed to continue. Of course, this had the effect of making the
campaign (whatever it was for) wildly effective, as soon everyone
found themselves asking, “What the heck is this all about?” and “Can
I be held morally responsible for the transgressions of the human
race?” and “What is it that they want me to buy?” which ultimately
led to: “If I buy it will everything be okay?”
Doug had other things on his mind this evening. Before the
announcement of the winning lottery numbers he knew he would
have to sit through the Nightline news program and watch the guy
who had hair like John Kennedy. Usually they talked about things on
this show which Doug didn’t understand, nor care about, but tonight
would be different. Tonight Nightline would reveal the nature of the
cryptic advertisements, featuring not one, but a panel of six
mysterious guests.
As the program got underway, Doug watched, dumbfounded by
what they had to say, and momentarily forgot that he might soon be
absurdly rich. If what they were claiming was true, money wouldn’t
make any difference anymore. This was serious. Doug stopped
chewing his Fritos so that he could listen more closely.
“So, let me get this straight for viewers who may have just joined us,”
Ted Koppel said, “You all claim to be the famous prophets and/or
founders of the world’s greatest religions: Jesus, Moses, Mohammed,
Krishna, Buddha and Zarathustra and you have all returned to pass
judgment on mankind.”
“That is correct,” Yeshua responded.
“You’ll forgive me for suggesting that this is all a bit hard to
believe,” the newsman offered diplomatically.
“But off course we do,” Moses said. “We realize now that the
human race has developed a healthy bit of skepticism in the last two
thousand years. I presume that many people must announce every
day that they are different shades of the second coming, and there
seems at first glance to be little to distinguish us from them.”
“Yes. Except for a multi-million dollar advertising campaign, and
enough media clout to schedule time in every major television
network in the country,” Koppel pointed out. “Who may I ask is
H O L Y S H I T !
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