a stack of forty pizzas. In a gender confusion similar to Harvey’s, Milo
had assumed that the secretary and the assistants would have been
female, but he was wrong. There was something much stranger about
the secretary than that. He looked oddly familiar.
“Yeah. You look familiar too,” Bob said. “What high school did
you go to?” he asked, stuffing pizza into his mouth.
“I didn’t,” Milo replied.
“Yeah. Me neither. Couldn’t be that, then,” Bob replied. “Hey! I
know! You’re that famous guy, huh?”
“What famous guy?”
“You know. The famous guy that looks like you.”
“No. I don’t know what you’re talking about. And that still
wouldn’t explain how I know you.” Milo answered gruffly. The
secretary was a complete idiot.
“Right,” said Bob, chewing, “Hey,
are
you famous?”
“What? You think I’m famous, I’d be delivering pizza?”
“Maybe. A lot of famous people delivered pizza.”
“But that was before they got famous!”
“Mm. I see your point. So how do I know you, then?”
“You don’t! Drop it!” Milo snapped.
Luckily, Vlad and Jewel came to the rescue just as Milo was
contemplating beating the secretary unconscious with a pizza box.
“Hello there! We’re from the plumbing service! Here to drain
your cares away!” chirped Vlad. He was trying to act the way he had
seen plumbers act in commercials for liquid drain cleaner. “Twice the
cleaning power! We’re scruberrific!” he tooted.
“Young man, could you please direct us to the sanitation and
waste disposal department of this structure?” chimed in Jewel, who
was also play-acting. She knew full-well where the department was,
due to Harvey’s directions and to a lesser extent, her own psychic
abilities. It was adjacent to Bob’s office, which they were standing in,
for Bob’s office had formerly been the toilet-paper storage room for
the building before it was converted into the Recreation Engineering
Department. This was oddly appropriate, because just like toilet
paper, Bob and his friends would soon be all over the privates of
everyone at VTV.
“Yeah. It’s right through that door,” Bob said, then giggled along
with Wade and Leonard. “That’s shit heaven, man.”
“Shit hell,” corrected Wade, “Shit heaven would be upstairs.”
“Hey!” Milo said, on cue, “I’ve always wanted to be a plumber!
H O L Y S H I T !
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