taken in by drug dealers and the mentally unbalanced. And let me tell
you, neither the city nor the ASPCA looks kindly on those who treat
such fabulous animals so negligently to let them run off on their
lonesome. We have half a mind to take custody of him and to order
an investigation of your entire department. For the time being we’re
holding you personally responsible.”
“Why me? I don’t know anything about this! I was just hired a
few days ago!” He brushed at the yellow stain on his coat with a
handkerchief.
“You’re still a potential accessory to a crime. However, there is a
simple solution to all this. Our department is busy enough as it is, we
don’t want to complicate things unnecessarily by ordering a full
investigation. If you let us briefly look around your laboratory to
make sure that the experimental animals are being adequately taken
care of, that should be enough. It shouldn’t take more than fifteen
minutes of your time.”
“Listen, lady. I’m not allowed to let anybody in here. We’ve got
strict security. Even if I wanted to, I don’t have the jurisdiction.”
“Well, who does, then?” asked Victoria.
“That would be me,” boomed a voice from behind them.
Recognizing at once the massive figure silhouetted against the
neon ceiling panels, Harvey’s knees began to wobble, first in small
tremors, then gradually widening into a manic, swinging ellipse.
Fortunately, this was a reaction that Johanness Barth was
accustomed to, and suspected nothing other than standard, run-of-
the-mill awe.
Barth growled, “What’s the problem here?”
“Uh—yes. It seems that we’ve found your monkey, sir,” Shiva
said meekly.
“Great. Leave it. Then go.”
“Right. That’s just what we were going to do. Um—” she stood
transfixed by the biggest, ugliest human she had ever seen.
Victoria, familiar with the psychology of big lugs, stepped in.
Glaring sternly in his eye she boomed back, “You don’t just go around
misplacing lab monkeys, mister. We ain’t leaving ‘till we know for
sure that this monkey, and the others are being well taken care of.
And it’s gonna cost you fifteen minutes and a cup of coffee.
Otherwise, we’ll come back with a police warrant in under four hours
and tear the place apart. It’s your call, Frankenstein. We’ve closed
down a fair share of places in our time, and I’d sure take special pride
H O L Y S H I T !
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