O l i v e r B e n j a m i n
you.”
“Really? Let’s check it out!” said Bob. Both he and Wade rolled
their chairs over to where Leonard sat. They hadn’t even stood up all
that day, navigating around the office in their big leather chairs.
“Listen to this,” Leonard said. “Some brainiac invented this killer
machine, but he split town and nobody knows how to use it. So
they’re expecting some geeks to come out from Caltech to try and
figure in out. But it’s not just any machine, man. Like, they think this
machine can make monkeys as smart as humans!”
“Whoa, man. That’s pretty smart. But if it can make monkeys
into humans, imagine what it could do for humans!” mused Bob
thoughtfully..
“Yeah! It could make us into monkeys!” said Wade. “That would
be awesome! Monkeys are cool, man. I once saw this show called
Killer Apes
with these monkeys who killed
five
African dudes—”
“No, dummy,” corrected Bob. “It would make us
smarter
than
humans. It would make us as smart as—uh—What’s smarter than
humans?”
“Dolphins, man. Dolphins are smarter than humans,” Wade said
exuberantly. “I saw this show once, called
Revenge of the Dolphins,
where these crazed amusement park dolphins got pissed off, and
they—”
“Fuck, man. Is that all you watch? Shows about animals? That’s
for chicks!” said Leonard. “But hey, forget about all that. I found
something even cooler. Some secretaries are expecting a secret
delivery of forty pizzas in a few days. I bet if we’re smart enough, we
can intercept them.”
“Of course we’re smart enough. We ain’t monkeys! We’re
executives!” protested Bob.
The three of them cheered, “Fuck, yeah!” and rolled their chairs
over to the mini-fridge for a break, which was followed by a brief nap.
Bob had heard that office jobs could cause stress-related illnesses,
and therefore made a mandatory 3 p.m. nap one of his first executive
decisions. Unfortunately, this one was interrupted at 7 p.m. by the
cleaning crew, who informed them (rather presumptuously, Bob felt)
that they probably ought to go home.
Now that he was an executive, Bob knew that he couldn’t expect to
stop being professional outside of the office. No; this wasn’t just a
job, it was an identity, a way of life. And to live the life of a trusted
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