O l i v e r B e n j a m i n
Don Wong cried, “Who gives a shit? If anyone finds out about
that cockamamie story!...” He pounded his head on the table.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid! How could you—aaarrghh!” After throwing a
minor fit, he finally took a deep breath and calmed himself. Once
again, he was the quintessentially noble Sage of the Sagebrush.
“All right. We’re gonna have to work our way around this one.
Harvey, do you have anything to add?”
“Yes,” nodded Harvey. “Given the implications of this discussion,
I believe there is a way in which we might get into the laboratory. I
shall tell you what it is, but first I request that this man here be
stripped of all his powers and status and made to clean toilets.”
“How dare you speak about my Vlad like that,” said Jewel. “He is
a man of great wisdom and power! And he’s going to be the savior of
the world!”
“Saying something over and over again doesn’t make it true,”
said Harvey.
“Come on, Harv. Why don’t you stop screwing around and lay
your cards on the table,” said Don Wong a little wearily. Acquiescing,
Harvey calmed himself, and after a moment, laid his cards on the
table. As it turned out, it was such an interesting plan that Don Wong
was tempted to send Vlad off to scrub the toilets—not only for
humiliation, but for practice.
CHAPTER 16
Once, years ago, Bob’s foster parents examined the blank look in his
eyes, the inertia in his gait, the miasma of his elocution, and decided
that maybe it would have been better just to get another dog. After
all, dogs didn’t ruin as much furniture as Bob did. But Bob qualified
them for a substantial tax break, so they cut their losses. And as for
bringing him up, well, that was what television was for, and what was
the use of wasting time trying to prune him and nurture him, when
he wouldn’t amount to anything anyway? They did send him to
school and tried their best to provide him with enough tools to
survive in the world, because after all, they were good Christian
parents. And more importantly, they didn’t want him hanging
around and bothering them for money after he turned eighteen.
Despite the total lack of faith his foster parents had placed in
him, Bob always knew he would be a success some day. At first, he
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